Speed Bumps

I understand that this doesn't exactly threaten world peace; however, it's irritating and here's why:

It seems that more and more streets are having speed bumps installed -- Basswood Rd, Via Rivera in RPV, Via Valmonte (I'm sure there are others), and now I see them going in on Via Del Monte. Via Del Monte,which has been there since glaciers retreated, and has never had speed bumps, now all of a sudden needs them? When I was a kid (just after the invention of the automobile) these streets all existed, but none of them had speed bumps. In fact, Via Valmonte was Hawthorne Blvd in those days! You think it's busier today?

What has changed to make all these speed bumps necessary now? Are drivers driving that much faster than we did in high school (impossible -- we drove so fast our watches stopped), or are we just becoming less and less tolerant of any perceived inconvenience?

From a real estate perspective, the owners of homes on these streets (and they are inevitably the ones who prevail upon the city to install speed bumps) all knew they were buying on a relatively busy street when they bought, and generally paid less for their homes because they were in that type of location. That was their compensation for it. If the traffic, noise, dirt, whatever were that unattractive, they should have bought somewhere else. But nooooooo -- no longer wanting to pay the price for having saved money when they bought, they now want to shift the cost onto the rest of us by making driving on their street inconvenient and uncomfortable for everyone else. Half my cars bottom out on the Basswood speed bumps if I go over 10 mph. I see the hand of shock absorber manufacturers in this.

If the current trend continues, most roads will have speed bumps: once the busiest have been dealt with, the next busiest will seem busy and will get them, and so on. This is probably Abe Maslow's Corollary #29. So before we get to that stage, I have an idea: why not just go back to dirt roads? That way, no one will be able to go that fast due to the ruts and pot-holes, and sewer/utility maintenance will be ever so much easier. The dirt roads certainly won't be any rougher than they are with all these speed bumps, so just rip up the pavement. Screw it. I can just see it: after a few years of that "Oh, it's so dusty/muddy". OK, let's pave the roads. A few years later "People are driving too fast now". Fine, let's put in speed bumps.

Somali Pirates

I am sure this must be in the planning stage, but we've all heard of "bait cars" used to catch car thieves, right? What we need now are a few "bait boats" (if the fishing industry will loan the term), modeled along the lines of the WW 1 British Q Ships. Disguised as innocent, vulnerable merchantmen, they would lure a German U-boat within range, then drop the gunwales and blast the sub out of the water with previously concealed deck guns.

While the British had to deploy over 350 of them, the Somali pirates' field of operation is sufficiently limited that it seems like a half dozen or so would do the job -- both in actual destruction and as deterrence. They could pose as private yachts, merchant ships, or whatever would best attract these roaches. I'm guessing that a sufficient number of them could be converted from existing vessels and manned with Navy Seals and Marines (a few in drag lounging on deck just for effect) for the cost of one sortie of a navy carrier group. We could even name them after the guys who took care of the North African pirates in 1801 -- Stephen Decatur, Presley O'Bannon, William Bainbridge, Edward Preble. If I was still in the Marines, I'd volunteer.